


I heard there was a secret chord

by avid_reader1



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Dean has a lot of memories from Hell, Demons, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-06
Updated: 2015-02-06
Packaged: 2018-03-10 20:28:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3302429
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avid_reader1/pseuds/avid_reader1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Black eyes and sulfur held memories for Dean that it didn't hold for anybody else.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I heard there was a secret chord

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I'm doing this right but some warnings:  
> there are mentions of Dean's torture stint in Hell. Not too graphic, but I'm taking precautions.
> 
> Title from the song "Hallelujah".

Sulfur and black eyes held memories for Dean that it didn't hold for anybody else. Not even Sam, the one with demon blood in his veins and a corruptness in his soul. Not even Cas, who'd waded hell to grip his soul and raise him from perdition. Not his father, who knew only those two things until even his dying hour. 

Sulfur was John Winchester's leather jacket after a week on a hunt. The feeling of soaring hope in Dean's chest, finally, Yelloweyes is gone, we can be a family. But the angry look in his father's eyes and the sting of alcohol and tears on his breath spoke differently. And the hope was crushed as quickly as it came, and Dean knew to stay away from his father and act as a shield between him and Sammy. Lest they fall prey to an anger that was so big and so ugly and so old that it consumed John and tore what was left of their family apart. 

Black eyes meant death. Black eyes were crazed laughter in dark nights and the stench of rock salt and hallowed water. It was the vengeance so ingrained in John Winchester that it swam in his bones until it burned his eyes black and his laugh dark. Black eyes were fear and flames and damnation in the middle of the night. Black eyes was Sam in that crypt, choking Lilith, driven mad with his desire to fix mistakes he couldn't fix and prevent disasters too big to curb. Black eyes was Dean looking for Sammy's salvation in his last attempt for atonement. Black eyes were Hey Jude on the piano and deep rage that burned holes in his soul. Black eyes were the death of everything he loved and that will never change. 

Black eyes and sulfur meant Hell. Eternal screaming from cages made of broken souls and bloody bones. Sulfur was the taste in his mouth as Alistair guided his hand through a nameless woman's ribcage. Black eyes were made from the tears behind closed eyelids as he reached down into the very essence of a screaming man and twisted. Hell's very foundations were black eyes and sulfur, its very soul, twisted and ugly and unholy.

Black eyes and sulfur are the only things that make up Dean Winchester. He is empty and broken, with only demon blood sluicing down his hands and his knife to fill him.


End file.
